One thing that stuck out at me in this chapter was the
I-Statements. The book says that it is an important still in conflict to be
able to use assertive I-statements. It makes it so you can personalize the
conflict by owning up to your feelings and not just making it the
responsibility of the other person. It helps to take the blame you might put on
others off. Using I feel, or I think, or I don’t like can be better than
saying You said, you’re wrong…etc. There
are 4 components of the I-Statement which are, feeling statement. A feelings
statement is a description of your feelings. Next is the Problematic behavior
statement which is a description of the offensive, selfish, upsetting,
problem-producing behavior. Then the
Consequences statement, and that is a description of the consequences the
problematic behavior has for you or others. And lastly is the Goal statements,
and that’s a description of what you want specifically. The I-statement is important to learn and
understand how it works when dealing with conflict. At times I have put the
blame on others and it can be hard to work thing out. But when you say things
like, I feel, or I think when talking to others it doesn’t put all the blame on
them and it can make the conflict easier to deal with. For example when I talk
with my friends about things that they do that bothers me, I say I think
instead of you do, or you’re wrong and it makes it more friendly to talk to
them.
Hello Roro, you answered this question thoroughly and I thought you did a great job. I think it is important to use assertive I-statements because it is a good way of expressing your feelings and owning up to them. It is difficult not to say things like “you make me mad” because I always want to express what it is the other person is doing that is making me upset but I realized that if I constantly do that, then I’m not going to be able to resolve the issue effectively. I end up just blaming them and not really being able to express what I feel and why. But by using I-statements I think I can change that.
ReplyDelete